Cincinnati Soccer Talk is constantly working on ways to bring the fans of FC Cincinnati better coverage. But then it hit us, what if we gave you the same coverage in an inefficient way that made you think we were doing more! Companies all over the world are throwing apps at consumers they don’t need. When is the last time you dusted off that gameday FCC app? Ya, we thought so. In the spirit of ingenuity, our app will be different.
The CST app will not be accessed by phone or PC. You already can reach us via Youtube, Facebook, Twitter, or via our once a year Instagram post. We are pleased to announce the only way to get our new app is via cartridge in an original GameBoy!
If you do not have a Gameboy, DO NOT PANIC. We sent half our staff out to MT. RUMPKE to pick up every partially working unit they could find. These units will be in our online store soon if a deal cannot be reached with the FC Cincinnati shop. The 2nd half of our staff worked on programming. We have so many exciting features to share.
1. You can access recordings of our shows from Year 1.
Do you miss the old interviews with John Harkes? Remember that time FCC sold fourteen thousand tickets and everyone lost their mind. Never fear, all of the shows are back and harder to watch. FC Cincinnati fans will be jealous when they see you watching CST in 8-bit style.
*Recordings of our shows will be sold 1 episode at a time and will require you to remove the original cartridge app and insert the new episode cartridge. If you try to buy the episode without the CST app entered first, the GameBoy is programmed to flash the world THIEF at you five times before shutting down permanently.
You can pick your preferred spot for the stadium!
Load up 25 separate maps and pick your favorite spot for a new stadium. The app will then generate a rude Facebook or Twitter response that you can manually type on your phone. Make sure you tag @fccincinnati so they know you feel disgruntled with the process. If the app likes where your pick, you will get bonus points and Jeff Berding will appear on the screen to let you know he is bullish about your site.
We promise to add many other features and will try very hard to implement them but first we need to see major sales. We have spent every dime from our supporters developing this.
3. Play Mini Games!
Click on the poop emoji as fast as you can to shoot Bullet Bill’s at your least favorite Louisville City players. Unlock special bonus games with high scores.
*This game is still in Beta and Bullet Bill may only work on Niall McCabe in normal mode and James O Conner in the bonus round.
We appreciate each and every reader that comes to this site and we hope to have this app up soon. Have a great April 1st.
@BostonKeith for @CincySoccerTalk
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